Inner Emptiness and Pornography Addiction: Why Destructive Habits Form

The sexual sin of pornography seems to be rampant in today’s society. Everywhere we turn we see images of sexy, barely-clad people trying to sell us everything from clothing and cosmetics to beer, flashy vacations, and automobiles. The average boy is exposed to pornography by the age of eleven, and the “normalization” of porn by the media industry is in full swing. The attitude that “everyone” looks at porn is pervasive in today’s society, as is the push that porn is supposedly normal or even healthy. All this contributes not only to an overall toxic societal environment, but it destroys both individuals and families.

“The decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family.”

(St. Lucia, commenting on what Our Lady told her during the Fatima apparitions)

Lust sells. And it also obliterates true intimacy.

But why does someone develop a pornography addiction? Is it because they’re a creep, a pervert, obsessed with sex, a bad and chronically unfaithful partner who doesn’t really love or care about their spouse, or even themselves? Or could there be deeper, sadder, hidden reasons that require not merely a personal shift, but a spiritual renewal? Could pornography addiction be less about sex and more about an inner emptiness that needs healing?

The why of any toxic behavior is crucial to understand for both the betrayed partner and for the addict. The betrayed partner most often feels confused, angry, heartbroken, depressed, numb, shamed, physically ill—or all of the above, a variating swirl of emotions that leave her dizzy and distressed. The addicted partner likely feels an intense amount of shame and self-loathing, but still finds his behavior difficult—if not impossible—to stop. As with any addiction, the mind may desire to change, but the pull of self-will and lack of ability to handle life’s stresses often causes an addict to fall back into vice.

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

(Rom. 7:15)