Desecration of Relationships: Uncovering More Myths About Pornography, Part 2

In a previous article I discussed several pornography myths that need to be debunked. In this follow-up article, I discuss several more misconceptions—but in all honestly, there’s so much to unpack when discussing the destructive stain on society that is the porn industry that I’ll never be able to get through it all. However, I can at least uncover the most common misconceptions and outright secular lies about pornography use. Before I do, though, I’d like to begin with a quote from Pope Leo XIII:

“Not only, in strict truth, was marriage instituted for the propagation of the human race, but also that the lives of husbands and wives might be made better and happier.”

Pornography addiction doesn’t make the lives of husbands or wives happier. Or better. Or more fulfilled. Quite the opposite, as we’ve seen—and will see further.

My previous post ended with Myth #3, so to continue that list, I’ll move on to

Myth #4:

Porn isn’t addictive.

Uh … yes it is! Pornography use is most definitely an addictive substance, something that increases in intensity and duration over time. Once a person is sexually desensitized to a certain level of sexual sin, great and higher levels of stimulation must be sought in order to receive the same high, to achieve the same climax. Otherwise … Things feel stale and a bit hum-drum.

Including intimacy with a real, live, loving spouse.

Desensitization is not only common, but to be expected when engaging in any addictive behaviour—which includes porn use. Addicts need more and more graphic, extreme images in order to be stimulated, just as alcoholics need increased levels of alcohol in order to maintain a buzz.

It would take an entire book to detail all of the scientific research into how pornography changes the chemical balance—causing it to be an imbalance—of users. I won’t go into detail here, because solid articles and books have already been written. Instead, I’ll refer you to a few resources so you can look into this issue on your own:

• Gary Wilson, Your Brain on Porn

• Luke Gilkerson, “Brain Chemicals and Porn: How Porn Affects the Brain”

• Jon Miltimore, “Harvard Scientist Explains What Porn Does to Your Brain”

• Integrity Restored Network, “What is the Science Behind Porn Addiction?” (this is a YouTube video—click here for the entire series)

• Fight the New Drug, “How Porn Can Change the Brain”

Myth #5:

Someone who uses pornography does so because he needs more sex and his partner just isn’t giving it to him. It’s all her fault, really.

The idea that a porn addict engages in his destructive behavior due to an unsatisfactory intimate relationship with his partner is an example of backward logic. Pornography use destroys intimacy, it’s not caused by lack of intimacy. An addiction resides within the inner wounds of the addict, and is never the fault of the betrayed victim.

Using and abusing pornography is never harmless, despite what the addict may want to tell himself. Keeping secrets in a marriage is destructive, and engaging in pornography is a way of covertly (and likely unconsciously) giving the betrayed partner the message that she isn’t good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, or exciting enough. In fact, numerous studies have clearly shown that using porn makes a person less empathetic and more critical of his spouse, as well as less satisfied with their relationship.

Authentic love requires authenticity. When one partner uses pornography, there’s no authenticity in the relationship because porn blocks intimacy and makes it more difficult for the user to engage in a mutually self-giving partnership with others.

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.”

(Paul Tournier, Guilt and Grace)